Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
