I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
