I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
