you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
