You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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