ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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