You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
