I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Drunk is not a location!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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