So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
