I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
