Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
