a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
