Will you blow on my dice?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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