My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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