so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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