In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
