He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
