so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
