After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
