I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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