do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
