he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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