im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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