Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
