just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He? As in you personified your dick?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
