I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
