he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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