I think i sorta joined a cult last night
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
