Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
