If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
