You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
