I showed him my bush... on skype.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
