Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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