no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
