Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
