Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
