Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
