Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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