we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
