I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
