I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
