Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry about my life...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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