Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
