i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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