Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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