When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
