guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
