yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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