Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
