Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
