Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
