remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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