so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize