Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
