the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
