and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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