It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Randomize
