im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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