my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
