That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
