hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
