Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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