We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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