My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
