i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize